Phil Robertson, Anus-Obsessed Racist, Also Recommends Child Brides

Ahhhh, Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson—the gift that keeps on shitting in your mouth and calling it a "GAY SANDWICH," because it doesn't have a real clear understanding of what gay people do, it just knows that they make it feel grumpy in its downstairs (um...did you keep that gift receipt?). Hot on the heels of "gay men were sent by the devil to tempt us all with their magnificent anuses" and "picking cotton was so fun, black people just COULDN'T STOP SINGING" comes Phil's latest greatest hit: If you want a subservient Biblical wife-slave, make sure you marry her when she's still an impressionable and terrified 15-year-old child. #ROMANCE

A video of Phil speaking at a 2009 "Sportsmen's Ministry" event (guuuuuuuhhhhhh) reveals some appalling (though not particularly surprising) thoughts on courtship and compatibility.

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